It’s election season. I know that because I need a back hoe to transfer the glossy political fliers from my mailbox at the front of the house to the recycling bin at the back – with only one or two stops along the way to hang-up on yet another robocall (or was it a pollster?)
I used to be upset by the amount of money spent on elections, but not since I decided that elections are primarily exercises in the redistribution of wealth. Rich people with a power complex back their favorite horse with cash. The horses then scatter crap – I mean cash (damn that Freud) – mostly throwing it at printers, telemarketers, and TV ad execs – but scattering it all the same. (After throwing my last stack of fliers into the recycling bin, I’ll add postal workers and trash collectors to the list of professions supported by elections.)
I mean, what can you buy with $4 billion dollars these days? One start-up company. A couple of pro football teams. Who needs these when I have my glossy fliers?
As a Democrat, I’m fine with this theory. Take from the rich and give to the – well, if not poor at least the middle class. If I try really hard, I can almost forget that the money takes this route via a politician, but I guess that’s how manure is made. It’s good for the flowers.
The money probably could be put to better use funding urban schools or something, but there’s no way we’d pry money loose from the Koch brothers for that. So, it’s either elections or the money buys another Gucci island or something.
I actually glanced at one of these glossy political fliers once. It was for someone running for county clerk. Now, I’ll admit that I’m a bit apathetic when it comes to local politics, but I did pass all of my civics classes in high school and yet I have no idea what a county clerk does. My image is of a librarian-sort standing behind a counter stamping things. I assume this job has some qualifications – or not. The flier was tall on graphics and short on information. Flags, stars, the candidates name and that was about it. I assume these officials do something, the town I live in isn’t bankrupt – but it wasn’t when the last lot of monkeys was in power either. Does it really matter if the county clerk is a Democrat or Republican? Does it matter if the person has an IQ of 12?
It would save us a lot of effort and money if we treated local office like jury duty and pick names out of the phone book. It would be fair and everyone would have an even shake at getting elected. Now that I think about it, this might not be a bad idea for Congress either. Voters seem to have fairly low expectations for the politicians they hire.
I’m Jae and I approved this message.