The End of the Beginning

closed mailbox Finally, Election Day! The robots will stop calling, the apocalyptic fliers will cease, and I don’t have to watch any more noir TV ads. The season of good chidings is over at last – at least until Primary Season, which starts a week next Thursday, but I’ll take any respite I can get. It may be time to consider taking a leaf out of the British playbook. Their elections last only four weeks. Really. It doesn’t take a Brit eight months to decide who to vote for. I’ll bet we could make up our minds faster if we had to.

Election Rerun. We've seen it all before.
We’ve seen it all before.

I’m convinced this election was a re-run anyway.

If Romney was right and 47% of Americans had already decided to vote for Obama presumably a like number had already decided to vote for the other guy. Then take the other 6% into a room and play campaign ads at them – Clockwork Orange style – until they either decide who they’re voting for or their heads explode. I’m not sure why you need to torture the other 94% of us.

I looked it up; I’m scheduled to vote in the Presidential primaries on March 15, 2016. So, I’ll start accepting fliers and robocalls on February 15. That’s 67 weeks from now. I’m just putting it out there. Don’t even talk to me about politics before that. Iowa and New Hampshire will already have weeded out the pack. Why should I bother getting excited about a candidate that I might not even be able to vote for?gangster

And while we’re talking about primaries, can someone tell me what Iowa and New Hampshire knows about the D/RNC that gives them the right to vote first? Do they know where the body of Jimmy Hoffa is buried? Do they have secret missile launch codes? If I threw darts at a map of the United States, I’d probably have a better grouping for the primaries.

But back to the Brits. British candidates get the same amount of money to run their campaigns. This sounds like a terrific idea. Let me suggest that each candidate gets $15,000 to run their campaign. This is about the average annual income for a full-time minimum wage employee. If the politicians want more funds, they could always to raise the minimum wage. I might be persuaded that the American average annual salary (about $60,000) is more appropriate. Currently, the average cost to run a congressional campaign is about $780,000. So, in either case, there would need to be some deep cuts in the budget (black and white TV ads from now on).

Politicians spend too much time fund raising anyway. We’d be doing them a favor by relieving them of all that tedious ladder climbing and sucking up to things. They might even have time to read a bill or two.

But alas, what I’m describing is a dream – and not an American one. Money is speech in this country and covered under our constitutional rights. I’d like to think that the candidate who raises the most money doesn’t always win – but this is rarely the case. It seems that we voters are sheep after all (bah). All we can hope for is that every once in a while Hollywood prevails and the underdog wins.


I’m Jae and I bought this message with the loose change I found behind a sofa cushion.



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