Have Gun, Will Vote for Gun Control

SheriffOk all of you gun owners out there, let’s start with some relaxation exercises. Breathe. Don’t panic, your guns are safe; snuggled up warm in your gun safe with all the other little calibers.

Are you calm?

Good. Now, let’s talk.

Gun control has always been a sticky subject in our house. My husband’s British and I grew up in the Wild West. My dad’s a gunsmith, so I know a thing or two and I’m a registered gun owner. So you’d think I’d be a card-carrying member of the NRA and oppose gun control legislation. You’d be wrong. I’m all for gun control.

I know the Loony Left talks big, but this is America, after all. No one is going to take away all of your guns. My dad’s still waiting for Obama to personally come and take his guns away. He’s been waiting since the day after the 2008 election. (It’s ok if you stop reading this post for a minute to go check that your guns are still safe. Obama hasn’t snuck in when you weren’t looking.)

There’s really no need for all this hyperbolic conspiracy theory. We’re products of the Wild West (even the East is west of somewhere). There’s no way we’re ever going to do a full-U.K. with our gun laws, so let’s have a sensible conversation about gun control.

founding fathers cartoon

It wouldn’t impinge on my Rights one bit if the government said I could only own 99 guns instead of 100. I know they’re cool, but I have only two hands, so how many guns do I really need? I like my iPhone, too, but I don’t want two of them. Gun extremists get their panties all in a twist over this. Any sort of limitation is a strike against their constitutional Rights. The way I see it, the right to own ONE gun fulfills this constitutional Right – ok, it’s plural in the constitution (“arms”), so maybe two guns, but there’s no need to stockpile.

I registered my guns just like I registered to vote. Painless – no Rights bruised. I felt more harassed the last time I went to the airport. And the NRA doesn’t stalk me – unlike the DNC. I would feel a bit naked without a gun in the house, but I don’t feel the need to cart it about with me. A gun is a tool, not a fashion accessory. I don’t carry a hammer around with me either.

I don’t feel particularly put out about waiting periods and background checks, either. Did them – survived them – forgot about them. But now that I’m thinking about them, I do feel a bit safer knowing that guns aren’t an impulse buy and that a Certifiably Crazy Person (CCP) can’t legally purchase a gun. If a CCP got really desperate, they could always get a knife. The NKA (National Knife Association) isn’t as strict. I’m not a CCP, most of the people I know aren’t CPPs (not even my crazy uncle). So, can’t we agree to limit gun ownership to non-CPPs? Some of those guys are real wack-jobs!

The only problem with gun control laws is that they’re for people who care about laws. Can’t we make it illegal to buy guns illegally?

I’m Jae and I typed this message on a .38 Smith & Wesson.


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