House earsA couple of years ago, our house was bugged.

Now, before you write me off as some conspiracy nut and click over to ConspiracyNut.Blog for some real news, you should know that my brother had just attained Top Secret clearance with the military for redacted2and my husband is a Resident Alien – which sounds a bit like ET – but it means that he has a green card (which used to be pink but is now a boring shade of beige – so much for truth-in-advertising). He’s a Brit, so he’s a lovable foreigner with a cute accent, but a foreigner all the same. All this is to say that I may not be completely off the deep end.

I know I should be upset, but I just can’t seem to manufacture the indignant outrage. If the idiots at the FBI or CIA wanted to waste their time listening to us instead of listening to al-Qaeda-FM, that’s their choice. As a tax payer, of course I would like Them – whoever They are – to make better use of their time and catch an actual terrorist or two, but They never really bothered us.

We must be the most boring soap opera ever.Pasaporte-eua

“Did you take out the trash?”

“No, I thought you did”

“I got the milk.”

“Well, I suppose I can do it this week.”

“What do you want for dinner?”

Yawn. I’m even putting myself to sleep typing this. So even if the They were monitoring us, They won’t hear a thing over the sound of their own snoring.

After a while we settled into it – which just goes to show that you can get used to anything. We may have randomly apologized for sneezing to a seemingly empty room and made sure the bathroom door was shut, but otherwise we didn’t change our routine.

It’s a good thing we got used to it then because now the NSA is watching all of us 24/7. Just today I noticed a camera placed high over a street that I often drive down. I’ve never noticed it before, but then again I’m not supposed to. Now that I’m looking, I see cameras everywhere. If they were all traffic cameras, I’d be getting daily speeding tickets in the mail. So, on the one hand, I’m glad they’re watching me for another reason (cheaper in the short-term, anywayAmerica Live).

No wonder we have so much reality TV. We’re all part of it and maybe we sub-consciously know this (America Live – a NSA Network Original).

My husband and I are just an average middle class couple, but I wonder if we do anything suspicious.

We listen to a lot of music – maybe to conceal secret talks.

We spend a lot of time hacking computers – our own computers, but that’s because we have crap computers.

We talk in code – “Want a Ruby?” “I’m dead chuffed!” “Can’t be arsed.”

AND we travel a lot and know about esoteric things like politics (we even know what the Electoral College does).

Now that I think about it, maybe we are spies!

I’m Jae and I decrypted this message with an Austin Powers decoder ring.



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