This is Post #50 at Wits End (I’m as surprised as you are.)
The goal of Wits End was to turn this crazy-ass world on it’s ear – to see the funny side of things. I thought I’d write a few posts and get it out of my system. But the more I look, the crazier the world seems. That’s the way of it. Once you start looking for – say the color red – or political ineptitude – it’s everywhere.
I thought I’d do something a bit special for my 50th P-Day (Postday). Through some oversight in the blogging rule book, it seems that anyone can make their own award and – this is the most important part – give it to whomever they choose!
What power! What responsibility!
I promise only use this bestowed power for good.
Keeping with the spirit of this blog, I minted the What Wit Award (not to be confused with the What Shit Award).
This award is for a post that demonstrates Wit in it’s most extreme form.
You know the type of post. You’re reading along not suspecting that your life is about to change and two words later, you nearly fall off your sofa. Coffee squirts out your nose and you lose the capacity for language or rational thought. Your significant other comes running into the room wondering if you’ve had some sort of seizure, holding the phone with 9-1 already dialed.
In other words, the type of Wit that nearly sends you to the hospital and should definitely be covered under your medical insurance.
Gasping, you reach up from where your broken body is now huddled and click the “like” button and then want to click it again and again and one more time. But due to some design flaw in the program, you can’t.
You waive away your significant other and try to explain the Power of the Wit, but all that comes out is gibberish. The pity in your loved one’s eyes doesn’t register. You wipe away your tears and the coffee from your computer and maybe even reblog the post (if you do that sort of thing), but somehow even that seems insufficient.
The What Wit Award is for this type of post – the post that nearly kills you.
The recipient of the award is not obligated to do anything (they’ve already done enough damage for one day by writing the post in the first place.)
However, any recipient of the What Wit Award is bestowed with the power to award the WWAward if they, too, encounter extreme Wittiness. Just reference http://jaeatwitsend.com/2015/02/01/what-wit-award/ so I, as the What Wit Award Archivist (WWAA), get a pingback and can collect all the wittiness in one place. I just hope the weight of it all doesn’t break my blog.
But I know what you’ve all been waiting for is to find out what post nearly killed me and is the first ever recipient of the What Wit Award. Drum roll, please.
“Cat’s Performance Review” written by Almost Iowa
I have to admit that my cat had a vote as she was reading along, calmly using me as a heated cat basket while taking her 127th bath of the day. Well, she was until I read the post – then she was flying around avoiding the coffee gushing from my nose.
I’m Jae and what’s wittier than a weekend what wit award?