What Not to Wear

Breaking Fad 2Odd News has been on an education kick lately. There seems to be more than the usual share of teachers standing in corners wearing dunce hats. Maybe these, too are part of the new Arkansas teacher dress code.

Headline: State Takes Over Arkansas School District That Had To Make Teachers Wear Underwear

Technically, the state didn’t take over the school district because the teachers weren’t wearing underwear – or “foundation garments” as they were termed by the districts’ lawyers – the state took over because the kids were failing – even by Arkansas standards – which may mean they can’t put their jeans on the right way around.

But let’s face it. Anytime teachers and underwear are mentioned in the same headline, it’s going to make the Odd News.

The underwear issue speaks to the general level at which the Little Rock district is functioning. If you have to tell the teachers to wear a bra, they can’t possibly know how to add 2+2 or the capital of Slovakia (Bratislava – which, despite widespread belief, does not mean “without bra”). Underwear is a bit like spelling – not having any doesn’t make you ignorant, it just makes it seem that way.

So, no more free-balling or boob spillage in Little Rock (somehow, I think the boob spillage is more of an issue).

But it wasn’t just the underwear wearing that was covered. The dress code instituted for the 2013-2014 school year also prohibits the wearing of any type of marketing unless it’s something reputable that can gift the school money like Microsoft or Lipitor. And teachers should avoid showing too much skin, especially if said skin contains art, or the teacher is really too fat to be wearing those size 4 spandex hot pants.

teacher dress
What Teachers are Wearing in Little Rock?

This isn’t the first time that school spandex rights have been impinged in an educational setting (and here).

The dress code also reminds teachers to get a hair cut once in a while and wear shoes to school – really, the district has to remind teachers to wear shoes?

Personally, I’ve done some of my best work braless and shoeless. Though my wardrobe is conspicuously absent of hot pants and beer t-shirts.

Teachers in the Little Rock district were understandably upset. Some bras can definitely be considered instruments of torture and the wearing of shoes is definitely part of a liberal agenda.

“Where will it stop?” asked one teacher. “Do I really need to wear sensible shoes and a twin-set every day? This isn’t the 1950s. I’m not June Cleaver.” At which point the reporter had to stop the interview and go look up June Cleaver on The Wik.

But the school maintains that teachers are supposed to be role models. “We all know students dress just like we do. If we don’t show them how to wear underwear, who will?”

What Teachers Should Wear – Yawn.

The fact is that teachers are held to a higher standard in society – and apparently in fashion. They are expected to be clean-cut middle class (i.e., without tattoos), preferably slightly Christian, though not overly so, and shop at Christopher & Banks. The ideal teacher is dressed… well, for the Cosby Show – at least in front of the cameras.

I’m Jae and I wrote this message while completely braless.


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