The Search is On

GooGooBeing the Gen-Xer that I am – i.e., not a digital native – I’ve been slow to ween myself from brick and mortar shops. I still make the trek to the mall even though eBay and Overstock are snoozing quietly on my computer.

But my behavior has changed over the years, I no longer buy house magazines when I’m designing my next new bathroom (not another one!), I just slide on over to Houzz. If I want a book, I wiz over to Amazon and presto it shows up on my porch (well, eventually after my neighbors bring it by because the postman has delivered it to the wrong address – again.)

And this blog takes me to many strange and wonderful places.

I spend a lot of time searching the web. Most search engines give suggestions as I start typing. It’s a bit like psychic cold reading.

google search
What Google Says Google Will Do.

A lot of suggestions revolve around commerce. I either shop too much online, or GooGoo’s been nobbled. But some of the suggestions are intriguing Credit Karma. What might that be? Click. “Qwop.” “Zedge.” What could these be? Click. Click. It’s easy to get off track. No wonder there’s so much ADHD going around.

What ever you do don’t search G for “zerg rush,” “google space”, or elgoog — and really, really don’t open

Google Gravity
When Gglooe runs out of glue.

I use McGoogle to get around the web, but there used to be so many more options: Ask Jeeves, Excite, Webcrawler. Are they still around?

I didn’t really know so I searched McG for “search engines” – the irony of the web – and I found a website devoted to the 15 most popular search engines – yikes who knew there were 15! This would be a great question for Trivial Pursuit, how many can you name? I could only come up with 5.

I decided to test out a few. Not in any systematic way you understand, just generally pissing about. I chose a phrase “funny loo” completely at random (well, it wasn’t really, I’ve recently written a couple of posts about toilets – and here – and here).

Google spit out 4 youtube videos and a French website. I tried the handy translation button, but my browser was lazy and didn’t want to do the French.

On Bing, I was confronted with a breathtaking, interactive photo, news, and other interesting features. Eventually, I stopped surfing the Bing home page and entered my search term. Bing did try to suggest looking for funny people instead. Or animals. Or look alikes. Or cars… but I stuck to my guns and entered “funny loo.” I got some funny images – some very funny indeed, weird news (my kind of news!), a page of quotes, and some videos of Loo Loo Zoo Zoo (an Indian cartoon that I didn’t fully understand).

The impossibility of using Bing. Too many things to see on the homepage.

ixquick – no I didn’t mistype – is touted as the “most private” search engine. The first three results were ads – so much for privacy – followed by classic practical jokes which looked intriguing, but was 404.

Yahoo returned the same results as Bing, but I’d gotten lazy and let the search autofill. I was confronted with pages of “funny looking black people.” Oops.

I skipped Dogpile because it just searches Google & Yahoo and I’ve already done that.

After my exhaustive test (*whew*), I’d had some chuckles, but nothing that would cause me to switch out of classic G.

I’m Jae and this massage has been auto corrected.


2 thoughts on “The Search is On

  1. Long before computers, we had these things called encyclopedias. They were big sets of books that smelled really cool. Libraries used to have them and so did your more affluent neighbors.

    If you wanted to learn something, you searched for it alphabetically… which never worked but it sent you off on learning tangents – kinda like Google.



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